Reserve Capacity Before You Need It
What leaders miss when competence looks effortless
“I know that I no longer have enough in the tank to do it justice.”
I was once on an executive team where two colleagues had a way of turning disagreement into something close to a contest. Their arguments were not always more rigorous than mine. But I had learned that I could not afford to arrive at the meeting with a half-formed thought.
I prepared harder. I anticipated objections. I made sure there were no obvious gaps someone could pull apart. Most days, I could be that version of myself when it mattered.
Then came a meeting where I could not.
I sat at my desk with my camera off because I could not reach for the arguments I would normally have had access to. It was all switched off. For someone who had never been quiet in that room, my silence must have been obvious.
When the meeting ended, I knew something had to give.
The first thing to go had been my ability to think clearly and hold my ground when it mattered.
I was burned out. Plain and simple. And it took me by surprise because I had always managed to keep going. On the outside, I was still functioning. I hadn't realised how little I had left in reserve.
Competence can disguise the cost
For many women leaders, the extra effort they put in is not always obvious from the outside. In my case, that extra effort was put into how much I prepared, anticipated challenges and shielded my team from the difficult conversations. It was also during the Covid-19 pandemic lockdowns, when the mental load outside work was already high.
That extra load can take different forms. Linda Babcock and her colleagues have shown that women are more likely to be asked to take on non-promotable work: tasks that keep organisations functioning but do little to advance a career. Women are also more likely to say yes when asked.
Then there is the less measurable work: preparing more thoroughly, anticipating challenge, managing how disagreement is expressed, making sure confidence is not mistaken for aggression and composure is never allowed to slip. Over time, that effort becomes a kind of armour, worn so often it stops feeling optional.
For some women, that work sits alongside a disproportionate share of the cognitive load at home as well, the anticipating, deciding and monitoring that sociologist Allison Daminger's research found falls disproportionately to women, even in households that consider themselves equal.
And that is where organisations can make a mistake. They see someone who is capable, prepared and dependable. They do not necessarily see how much of her capacity that effort is consuming.
What building the buffer actually requires
Reserve capacity is the buffer that allows us to respond well when something unexpected happens. It is the thinking space, energy and attention we have not already spent.
For women carrying additional visible and invisible load, building that reserve is not simply about learning to say no. Although that is part of it.
First, the load they have has to be seen.
Who is doing the work that attracts little recognition? Who routinely prepares more than everyone else? Who is absorbing tension, smoothing relationships or carrying responsibilities that somehow became theirs without anyone deciding they should?
Then comes the harder question: what can change?
Leaders have a responsibility to look carefully at the people whose competence may be disguising how much effort they are using just to meet the same moment.
Because that extra preparation helps you perform in the meeting. Reserve capacity gets you through your career.
What are you carrying that is reducing your capacity for the work that matters most?
