While You're Getting Things Done, Who's Deciding What Comes Next?
Why being the dependable one can cost women a say in next year
“We must reject not only the stereotypes that others hold of us, but also the stereotypes that we hold of ourselves.”
Some years ago, I was part of a leadership team heading into December and I volunteered to organise the end-of-year celebration. It mattered to me. People had worked hard and marking the year together felt like the right thing to do.
I was also working hard to close out a number of projects before the holiday season. Everyone wants something completed before Christmas, even though much of it will sit untouched until everyone comes back in January. I worked really hard and got through it all.
Meanwhile, two of my colleagues were spending more of their time with our senior leaders, talking about what the organisation needed to focus on in the new year. We all had the same number of hours. They were using some of theirs differently.
By February, they were on the working group for a significant new project which lifted their profile and set them up well for career advancement. I was back doing business as usual.
I don't think anyone deliberately left me out. I was dependable. I put in the work and I got things done. That I do what I say I will is still important to me. But it wasn’t lost on me later that while I had my head down, some important conversations were happening somewhere else.
Finishing work and shaping work compete for the same hours
Research shows that this is a common pattern for women. Linda Babcock and her colleagues have spent years studying what they call non-promotable work: tasks that help an organisational culture but do little to help the career of the person doing them. They found that women are more likely to volunteer for these tasks. Women are also more likely to be asked to do them and more likely to say yes when asked.
And for some women, this lands on top of an already crowded end-of-year load at home: gifts, family gatherings, school holidays and all the organising that somehow has to happen at the same time.
There is always another report to finish, handover to write, roster to organise or event that needs someone to make it happen. If you are dependable and like to leave things in good shape, it is very easy to keep picking things up.
We step forward, and organisations can become very comfortable with us doing it.
At exactly the same time, budgets are being shaped and priorities set for next year. Names start being mentioned for roles and opportunities that may not formally exist for months.
Saying yes to one thing leaves less room for something else
I suspect plenty of women will recognise some version of this. It is worth noticing where our time is going.
Three things can help.
Notice what you value about being dependable. There is something satisfying in being trusted, useful and the person people know will follow through. Understanding that makes it easier to consciously decide whether it is worth it.
Look at what you have said yes to, and what you are about to. Go back through your commitments from the past month. How much of that time finishes work someone else could do? How much puts you into conversations about next year's priorities and resources? Then ask the same of the next thing you are handed. Handing something over can also give someone else the chance to stretch.
Choose one decision you want to influence. You don't need to be in every conversation. Pick one that matters to you or your team, find out when it is being worked out and see if you can be part of helping it take shape.
Where your attention goes this quarter shapes next year
I still want to be the person who helps organise the celebration. Those things make workplaces more human and I would not give them up. I also want to be in the strategic November conversation.
For me, this is where foresight is important. It means looking beyond what is due now and noticing what is being put together for later, so I can make a deliberate choice about where I need to be.
There will always be another report to finish. It is worth reminding yourself not to be so preoccupied with getting things done that you don't notice the opportunity to be the conversations that shape next year.
While you're finishing 2026, where do you need to be to have a say in 2027?
