How to Step Into The Growth Zone Without Overwhelm
By Suzie Thoraval
The best leadership growth happens between comfort and pressure, with enough space to recover
“A ship in harbour is safe, but that is not what ships are for.”
Last week, I had to get across town for a client facilitation near Melbourne Hospital. To do it, I had to take the Metro Tunnel for the very first time. That might sound unremarkable. But for someone who knows this city intimately, who has lived in suburb after suburb and walked its laneways for decades, it felt strangely exposing to not know the way.
The stakes felt high. I had a room full of leaders coming to the facilitation. It was the first time I had worked for that client. I couldn't be late. And I was stepping into an unfamiliar train system with no guarantee I'd know how to navigate it smoothly.
So I did what any sensible person does when the stakes are high and the path is unknown: I gave myself time. I left early. I created what I've come to think of as spaciousness. I had time to make a wrong turn, recover, and still arrive calm and ready. And that's exactly what happened. I made a few wrong turns. I followed the signs. I asked when I was unsure. I kept calm. And I got there with enough time for a coffee before we began.
Now I know how the Metro Tunnel works.
It struck me afterwards that is a small version of what adaptive leadership often asks of us.
The Goldilocks formula for growth
Vygotsky described this as the zone of proximal development: the space where we cannot quite do something alone yet, but we can grow into it with the right support, conditions and effort. Too little challenge keeps us where we are. Too much challenge can send us into overwhelm. Growth usually sits somewhere in between.
Leaders with adaptive stability learn how to work in that middle space. They have enough grounding to enter unfamiliar territory without needing to have everything mastered first. They can make a wrong turn, adjust, breathe, and continue. And when they do that, they give others permission to keep learning too.
Discomfort is often the signal that we are stretching into something new.
Three things to try this week:
Take a different route, literally or figuratively.
Choose one familiar routine this week and deliberately change it. Walk a new street. Attend a meeting where you are not the expert. Order something you have never tried. Notice what it feels like to not know, and stay curious instead of retreating.
2. Build in spaciousness before a stretch moment.
When you know something challenging is coming, whether that be a hard conversation, a new skill, an unfamiliar room, give yourself more time than you think you need. A buffer is how we give ourselves room to stay regulated enough to actually perform.
3. Name the zone you are actually in.
At your next team check-in, ask people and yourself to honestly identify whether they are in the comfort zone, the growth zone, or the overwhelm zone right now. Then make one practical adjustment based on what you hear to help all of you stretch into the growth zone.
Where in your leadership right now are you staying in the harbour, not because the timing is wrong, but because leaving feels uncomfortable? And what would it take to give yourself just enough spaciousness to try?
