You Can Be Great Without Burning Out
By Suzie Thoraval
A steady, modern approach to leadership that builds impact and protects your energy in the year ahead
“You can have it all, just not all at once.”
On the weekend, my family and I watched Whiplash — the film about a young drummer pushed to extreme lengths by a teacher who believed intense pressure would unlock brilliance.
It sparked a conversation afterwards about ambition: What does it really take to be great? And how do we pursue meaningful goals without eroding our wellbeing along the way?
I’ve been pondering this question my whole career. My feminist mother raised me with the strong belief that I could do anything I set my mind to. I carried that energy into university and into my early legal career. I entered the workforce with a sense of possibility and ambition, ready to contribute, learn and strive for greatness.
Striving and the early years of ambition
When I was a young lawyer in a large corporate firm, I observed the people who rose quickly. Many stayed late into the night, missed social events and reorganised their lives around the next major deal.
I remember sitting at my desk late one evening, looking around at the lawyers still typing away, and quietly asking myself, “Is this what my life needs to look like to succeed?”
I cared deeply about my work and took pride in doing it well, but I sensed that a life built entirely around relentless availability didn’t feel like the kind of greatness I wanted for myself.
Ambition expands when life expands
When I became a parent, the questions around ambition grew into something more layered. I still loved my career, and I still wanted to lead and contribute. At the same time, parenting added a profound sense of purpose. It didn’t lessen my ambition — it widened it. A meaningful family life was also important. I needed a way of working that honoured my career and family.
Yet I found that the structures around me didn’t always allow room for both. There were evenings when I rushed out the door for childcare pick-up and missed the “hallway conversations” later in the night where decisions were made informally.
The way the workplace was organised created pressures that were hard to manage alongside the rest of my life.
Parenting was my turning point, but many things outside work can shape how people strive. People of all genders and life stages juggle different priorities — caring for family, managing health, supporting relationships, pursuing creative interests or wanting more space in their lives. Ambition looks different for everyone, and many of us know the feeling of trying to move forward while also staying steady.
Anne-Marie Slaughter and a wider conversation about ambition
Around that time, I came across Anne-Marie Slaughter’s famous article Why Women Still Can’t Have It All. It named what many people felt but rarely said.
Slaughter, who worked alongside Hilary Clinton, stepped away from one of the most senior foreign policy roles in the United States to support her son during a difficult period. She wrote openly about how modern workplaces at that time often relied on expectations and schedules that did not reflect the realities of contemporary family life.
Her essay opened a long-running conversation about ambition and the structures around it. So much leadership potential sits inside people who could soar even higher if the surrounding structures were more conducive with modern life.
In the years after Slaughter’s article, research and commentary highlighted how modern work and family life compete for attention, how domestic load influences professional bandwidth, and how workplaces with flexibility and psychological safety make it easier for people to pursue meaningful goals without burning out.
Post-COVID, that conversation has shifted again. Flexibility is now a baseline expectation, wellbeing is seen as a shared responsibility, and ambition is viewed through the lens of sustainability rather than sacrifice.
When striving feels heavy
Whiplash is an extreme story, but it mirrors subtler experiences I’ve observed — and lived — in leadership environments. Ambition often begins with promise and clarity, and over time it can become shaped by pressure, narrowing focus and fatigue.
Research offers insights into this. The Yerkes–Dodson law shows that performance grows with pressure only to a point and then effectiveness drops. Burnout research highlights how prolonged stress — without restoration — affects judgement, energy and confidence.
Workplace culture plays a defining role in how striving feels. Recent reports compiled by young consultants at major global firms — including a widely circulated internal survey from young Goldman Sachs analysts in 2021 and similar accounts from McKinsey and Deloitte — have described 90–100 hour weeks, mental fatigue, disengagement and health impacts during pressure periods.
These environments produce impressive outputs, yet they also highlight the human cost of sustained pressure without recovery. They offer a reminder that ambition becomes far more sustainable when organisations support boundaries, shared responsibility, flexible work rhythms and psychological safety.
These insights reflect what many leaders feel: ambition is most powerful when it’s supported by healthy structure and space to recover and becomes too much when those supports are not there.
The three pillars of Adaptive Stability — Mindset, Flexibility and Resilience — help leaders pursue big goals in a way that feels steady and sustainable. When these pillars are in place, ambition supports your leadership instead of overwhelming your time, energy or wellbeing.
Two different approaches to ambition
Here are two examples of approaches to ambition that illustrate the path to your goals.
Roger Federer
Federer is widely regarded as one of the greatest tennis players in history. His 20 Grand Slam titles, effortless, graceful tennis style and global respect reflect extraordinary achievement.
What stands out is Federer's steadiness — emotional balance, strong recovery habits and a sense of life beyond the sport, including with his family. His career shows how greatness can grow through consistency, groundedness and long-term care for body and mind.
Lance Armstrong
Armstrong’s story shows a different path. His dominance in cycling was built on an extensive doping program, intimidation of teammates and a culture of secrecy and control. He was eventually stripped of seven Tour de France titles.
His story demonstrates how ambition can collapse when it becomes disconnected from honesty, ethics and wellbeing.
Healthy striving in daily leadership
Healthy striving draws on clarity, long-range thinking and alignment with personal values. Leaders who cultivate this style of ambition often:
choose goals that feel purposeful and energising
build restorative habits into their week
adapt their pace and focus when life changes
stay connected to relationships that strengthen them
use values as a compass during demanding times
view progress as a manageable, consistent pace, instead of always pushing yourself to go faster
These patterns demonstrate adaptive stability. They support sustained performance and create a sense of calm confidence and groundedness.
Ask yourself:
What does greatness mean to you at this stage of life and leadership?
Which goals feel aligned and energising for the year ahead?
Where might you welcome more space or support?
What routines help you feel clear, steady and purposeful?
I believe greatness grows through thoughtful choices, sustainable effort and a grounded sense of self. When ambition aligns with wellbeing, leaders create lasting impact — and they stay true to themselves along the way.
As you reflect on the year behind you, what approach would help you pursue next year’s goals with clarity, steadiness and a sense of purpose?
